1. |
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I love myself more than I could ever hate you
I know that is just the thing that irritates you
I know that you'd rather we just celebrate you
Bet your bottom dollar I ain't thinking 'bout you.
I love myself more than I could ever hate you
I love myself more than I could ever hate you
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2. |
savedhistory - Trying
04:07
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and i fucking apologize for all the nights i've failed to try
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3. |
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Dancing in your room
Drunken, to our friends band.
I'm about to play a set
across the street.
I hallucinate a smell and I'm back.
I'm putting on your clothes
now about to head to class.
I'm late I'm high.
class was good.
I thought about you the whole time, said something smart.
I hallucinate a smell
and I'm back.
undressed and missing class.
just an idea.
someone else lives in that room
now we can't go back.
we can't go back nothing is different
we can't go back nothing is similar
this is okay
this is just fine
I'm alright now
this is okay
I'm forgetting the smell
forgetting the smell
who's in your room tonight?
what are you two dancing to?
how long will they remember
the smells that will return
them to this moment
right now
after it shatters and cracks
like it always has.
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4. |
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I’m shut in
But not for the first time
Just trying to do what’s right this time
The whole world on pause
But is she waiting?
And will she wait for me too?
Still shut in
But not for the first time
We’re all trying forecast the last time
If I’m still here
Will you still feel it?
If I keep the warmth at arms’ length
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5. |
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oh father, what about the rest of my life
after you die?
as lonely as you claim
i will never survive,
without you.
by my side,
it’s haunting
spirits in this house
from my childhood
in one dream i have
speaking stuttered spanish
“quiero decir”
sit silently.
in my rockstar makeup,
singing karaoke
hear mother scream
our shared name
in the middle of the night
love me tenderly as i die
in your arms
and hold me as i cum
if i’m the son you have dreamt of
then hold me as i cum
or is too hard to admit,
i’m your other daughter’s death?
uncircumcise me.
i am your other daughter’s death
uncircumcise me
(you’re not talked about
well-dressed and with flowers)
holding my breath,
from down the hallway
(you’re not talked about,
karaoke singer)
hearing you scream
you will leave this world
(you’re not talked about,
in closet weather casket)
in the fashion whence you came,
(you’re not talked about,
because it’s not talked about)
alone,
and to die alone.
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6. |
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love you must see the grace that keeps you grounded
love you must trust you will not burn it down
with harmony and temperance and joy so lush
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7. |
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When I come home
Lay my head down
I still hear ringing
I think of nothing
Don’t try to think for me
The process fails at full intensity
You’ve ground down the bitterness
I’ve gotta get myself used to it
A slightest glimpse into me
Shows nothing’s ever easy
My brain has stayed so distant
I don’t know how you missed it
But nothing’s the same today
I know
You don’t
Write off
This loss
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8. |
Mint Green - The Siren
03:20
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I’m over it and under it and everything else I can be
I'm confident and everything else that you wanted
It doesn’t matter what I do it'll never be enough for you
I'm not comfortable
You sing a song of a siren
But you're obsessed with flying
Not following
New beginning
Hypnotizing on your island
Rocky coasts
Green meadows
A sweet sadness that I will always know
I’m over it and under it and everything else I can be
Just pull me right back in again just like you wanted
It’s fair enough I’m backing up
You seem way too good at this stuff
I'm not comfortable
Scrubbing my mirror until it’s clean
It won't matter you won’t stay with me
I’m over it and under it and everything else I can be
Reading your recent poetry
It’s 11:17
I’m over it and under it and everything else I can be
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9. |
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Your eyes see past my walls
But I want you to look at me
And I know the names of many things
But I can't tell what you are
At least not to me
I think I could love you
If I tried
I don't think he loves you
The way you had in mind
Brush your hair back, show your face
Even if it saddens me
I remember the blowing fallen leaves
I heard your name in each distant sound I recall
I think I could love you
If I tried
And when you forget me
I'll be in my mind
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10. |
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under bloomed horizon, we grind our heels into embers pollinated across gravel trails. my jaw unclenches into prayer and exhales for myself not to go there. my hands holding me inside, our footsteps fade into a sigh. we ask in tongues and through teeth to not want anything.
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11. |
Yaya - Cherish *
02:54
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in this house, the rooms are always shifting
walls disappear and reform
groaning like muscle tearing from bone
there's a single window, in a tiny room
this is where i live
each day i visit the box below the chair
inside it is something warm
i hold it close
i do not know what makes the light
that bathes the window
such a soft gold
outside is the sea
and inside is something
too fragile to bear
so i wait
for something to ask me:
"if my body fell & shattered
would you put me back together?"
oh yes, i can only say yes
"if i tore off my body
would you sew it back up for me?"
oh yes, i can only say yes
"if i lost myself to nothingness
would you really come look for me?"
oh yes, i can only say yes
oh yes, oh yes, for you;
oh yes, oh yes, oh yes
in this house, the bones are always broken
flesh is twisted and so torn
all i am left with is something warm
all i am left with is a question
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12. |
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Was it all in, was it all in your head?
Was it all in your head?
Was it just something that you dread? x2
Trade your harness for a serpent
Wear it like a medal
Spend your money on your burdens
Burry them in petals
In the heat of any moment you're gonna lose wherever you give in
I hate the fantastical version of me that you've imagined
melt me in your pot of magic or else I will not have it
In the heat of any moment...
Did you put it off again like you did last time?
Another rancid day another rancid life
Was it all in, was it (give it the okay)
All in your head?
Was it (It wont go away)
all in your head?
Was it just something that you dread? x2
Give it the okay, it won't go away, just give it the ok
Did you put it off again like you did last time?
Another rancid day another rancid life
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13. |
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Wants to creep in the night
We can find a way to
Lover, now a scar
And mama told me boys will break your heart
But I’m dumb til the end I know
And I don’t usually do this
But I don’t mind if you won’t tell
And I don’t usually want this
But I just need your affection
I think about us in my bedroom
I think of all the things we could do could do
I think about us in my bedroom
They say we shouldn’t but I want to, I want to.
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14. |
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ヘビーなハート蛇 (HEAVY-HEARTED HEBI):
[Chorus]
蛇、蛇、ヘビーな
ハートを持つ
どうすれば
どうすればいい
どうすればいいかな
[First verse]
悲しい、悲しい蛇、
昔々力がなかった
弱かった。
すごく弱かった。
でも蛇は頭がよかった
天子は強かったんだ
絶対神になるんだ
[Second verse]
「なるほど、なるほど」
と言っていた、言っていた
（マジ?マジ分かった？）
「死んだ人を食った。
夢は神になること。
分からないでしょう。」
[Third verse]
「分かりたい、分かりたい」
と言っていた、言っていた。
「大変ですね、すみません」
千年が経っても、
まだ分からない、キミ
[TRANSLATION]
Snake, snake, heavy-
-heart, you hold
What should
What should I
What should I do?
Sad, sad snake
A long time ago,
You didn't have power
You were weak
So, so weak
But you were clever
"Heavenly beings are strong."
"I will become God."
"I understand, I understand,"
So you say, so you say
(Really? Do you really understand?)
"I eat the dead.
My dream is to become a god.
You don't understand."
"I want to understand, I want to understand,"
So you say, so you say,
"How difficult, my apologies,
Even if 1000 years passed,
you still wouldn't understand.”
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15. |
GODDEXX - Shedding
04:17
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I bleed like stained glass
Broken, reverent
I taste like dead skin
And burning beaches
You will lick
Where my blood spills from
You will catch
All my cum on your tongue
Lick sounds from
My purpose now
Cut yourself
Sacrifice
All I am
in you
I do not care
How long it takes
To rearrange my face
I do not care
How fucking long it takes
To rearrange my fate
I do not care
How long it takes
To rearrange my face
I do not care
How fucking long it takes
To rearrange my fate
I do not care
How long it takes
To rearrange my face
I do not care
How fucking long it takes
To rearrange my fate
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16. |
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17. |
Kissies - Troubled Minds
01:59
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18. |
Listless - No Remorse
02:31
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Fuck voyeurs gaze,
searing through,
No remorse,
For what you do.
Throat agape,
Torn in two,
No remorse,
For what we do.
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19. |
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es mi cuerpo
que quieres controlar
son nuestras vidas
que quieres dominar
nos quieres mantener
cuando tratamos de crecer
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20. |
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I glance in the mirror and hate what I see
The cord on the floor is the only thing
That would looks good on me
Around my neck hanging from the ceiling
You think with your dick and that’s all there is to you
They say every dog has its day
But I think every dog is the same
In a society I’m exhausted looking good for you
Being a girl just to look good for you
We won’t tell all that we hate about ourselves and our bodies
And I will never admit that I never loved you just because I never loved myself
The only beautiful thing that I had about me was the blood running down
[Wandering eyes killed me inside
I’ll never show I’ll never tell
Wandering eyes killed me inside
I wish I was never born a girl (x3)
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21. |
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Quiet Year Records Richmond, Virginia
virginia diy forever
releasing and distributing independent music and art from october 2012-2015, relaunched fall 2018.
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